Listening for Something New

For people to get to the changed thinking that resolves their conflict, there is something that they will see or hear or understand differently. (See And Now for Something Completely Different.)

What is that? How do they get there?

A friend and mediator-colleague has a really good way she gets right to the heart of changed thinking.

She has a way to get folks in a dispute to be thinking differently right from the start. She starts a mediation telling her clients this: listen for something new:

The key to resolution – the solution that’s been eluding you – will always be in something new. You’ll hear something new, or understand something you’ve heard before in a new way. So today listen for that “something new.”

The “something new” is language that changes the thinking. The changed thinking changes the interaction. The changed interaction allows them to come to a solution for their conflict. It’s hearing something new or in a new way that is “the good medicine.” (See Learning the Lexicon: “That’s Good Medicine.”)

When people solve their conflicts, it can always be said that it’s because they were listening and they heard something new.

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